Help! I can’t get my baby to stop crying and I have tried everything.
This is a commonly spoken statement by many parents. New babies cry a lot and for many reasons. There is something about a fussy baby that triggers our deepest emotions as parents and causes us to worry that maybe we are missing something.
Excessive crying in babies can be normal during certain stages of their development. In this article, we will look at reasons why babies cry, what to do about excessive crying and when to seek help.
Common reasons babies cry
As parents of babies know, these tiny people cry for a variety of reasons. Normal healthy babies cry and sometimes they cry a lot. Crying is their main form of communication, especially in the early days of life.
Reasons that babies cry might seem obvious until you are standing over an infant in the throws of a sob fest.
Reasons for the tears:
- Hungry– whether you have a breastfed baby, formula fed or both, hunger can lead to inconsolable crying until they are fed. Even if you have given your baby food recently, they may be in the midst of a growth spurt and demanding more food to keep up with their growth.
- Tired- even adults get cranky when they are tired, and babies are no different. Sometimes your baby can be extra fussy if they are not getting enough sleep through the night or day.. Newborns require a large amount of sleep as their bodies are doing the hard work of growing and developing. A typical newborn can only stay awake for 30 – 60 minutes at a time.
- Uncomfortable– discomfort can set a baby off. Whether it is a diaper that needs changing or they are feeling too hot or too cold, an uncomfortable baby will let you know through crying.
- Bored– babies need human interaction and stimulation. Crying happens when they are bored or need something new to do or look at.
Other Reasons Why Babies Cry
- Have a wet diaper or dirty diaper– enough said
- Pain– any kind of pain will cause a baby to cry. Be sure to check for a hair tourniquet or strand of hair that is wrapped tightly around a digit if your baby seems to be in pain and you can’t find a source. This can be one of the causes of inconsolable crying that if not caught early can result in serious injury to your baby.
- Gas – gas is painful, even in adults, but especially so in babies due to their gut immaturity. Bicycling their legs, rubbing their tummy or giving them a warm bath can all be good ways to help relieve gas pains.
- Startle– if your baby hears a loud noise, it will trigger their startle reflex and often cause them to cry
- No apparent reason at all – there is a period of time known as the period of purple crying where babies seem to cry for no reason at all. This could be the cause if your baby is between 2 weeks of age and 3 months of age. This can also be known as infantile colic. Colicky babies cry for certain periods of time (usually early evening) and nothing seems to relieve their crying. Babies with colic will often cry during a predictable period of time, known by most parents as the witching hour.
When Your Baby Won’t Stop Crying
As we have discussed, it is normal for babies to cry, but it can be frustrating when they seem to cry constantly. There are a few things you can do to try to ease your baby’s persistent crying:
- Make sure your baby is not hungry, wet, or uncomfortable. These are the most common reasons why babies cry.
- Try swaddling your baby. Swaddling can help to soothe babies and make them feel more secure.
- Rock your baby or take them for a walk. The motion can be calming for babies.
- Sing to your baby, play soft music or use white noise. This can help to distract them from their crying.
- Give your baby a pacifier. Sucking is soothing for babies.
- Take your baby to a quiet place. Sometimes babies cry because they are overstimulated.
- Try to stay calm. If you are upset, your baby will pick up on your emotions and become more upset themselves.
- Change of scenery – sometimes your baby will calm down if you simply change their location, take a walk, go for a ride in the car or put them in the baby carrier and go sit at a coffee shop
When to call the pediatrician
If you have tried all of the above tips and your baby is still not calming down, it is time to seek medical advice. Your pediatrician can help you determine if there is any other underlying issue causing your baby’s distress. We will provide advice on how to best care for your little one.
Your pediatrician can guide you in knowing how long you should let your newborn cry.
How to protect your mental health
Caring for a baby who is constantly crying can be exhausting and emotionally draining. It is important to take care of yourself as well as your baby during this difficult time. Be sure to get enough sleep, eat healthy foods, and make time to do things you enjoy. Make sure you have support from your partner or family and friends who can help you if needed.
Babies who cry excessively are at risk for abuse, especially shaken baby syndrome. This occurs when a caregiver is distressed by the constant sound of their baby’s crying and shakes them to get them to stop. This very quickly can cause severe brain damage.
If you are feeling like you may “snap” or lose your cool when your baby is fussy crying, be sure to put your baby in a safe place and walk away for a few minutes to collect yourself. There is no shame in seeking out the help of a healthcare provider if you are feeling overly stressed by these fussy periods. Postpartum depression can contribute to a short fuse, and it does not make you a bad parent to ask for help.
Crisis hotlines can also be a helpful resource in the heat of the moment. You are the most important person in your baby’s life. It is imperative that you take care of yourself while you are working through this difficult time in your parenting journey.
Want to have a newborn expert on your side?
Not only am I a pediatrician, but I am also a lactation consultant/ breastfeeding medicine specialist. In addition, I am an expert in all things newborn. I offer breastfeeding medicine consults, concierge breastfeeding medicine packages, fourth trimester care packages and memberships to my pediatric practice.
Schedule a free meet and greet today to see if 127 Pediatrics is a good fit for your family.
© 127 Pediatrics; October 2023; Updated December 2023
This article exists for informational purposes only and should not be construed as medical advice.
Dr. Andrea Wadley is the owner, pediatrician, and breastfeeding medicine specialist for 127 Pediatrics. She has an established house-calls-only concierge pediatric practice in Colleyville, TX. She is also the owner and operator of the 127 Pediatrics Online Breastfeeding Medicine and Education Center.
